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VH1 Show Premiere : Rock Of Love (III) Bus
The other way I wasted my time last night...
I have seen some train wrecks in my day, but nothing prepared me (not even the first two seasons!) for the amount of crazy that showed up for Rock Of Love Bus (season three) last night. Small photo recap here.
Porn stars, strippers, Penthouse pets, fighting Brazillians and a plentitude of silicone-injected groupie/white trash turned out to battle for former Poison frontman Bret Michael's annual ego-building/temporary affection contest.
Bret is on tour this season, so the ladies have been divided into two groups on two buses and will be following him around from tour stop to tour stop. The rest of the show remains the same as the previous two seasons...challenges, dates, yadda yadda yadda. The Blue Bus contains the tamer, "more stable" sect of women, while the Pink Bus holds the tornado of crazy now known as "The Blonde-tourage".
Episode One, which starts off in my hometown of Louisville, Kentucky(!), contains your standard drunkeness, low self-esteem, crying, excessive drinking, making-running, alcohol throwing chaos we've come to expect from the early season ROL episodes, however this season we're treated, right from the get-go, to a girl fight for the ages. I mean this season has gone from 0 to 60 in record time. Barfy Brazillian Marcia had reached her breaking point with with Scary Tatooed Barbie Ashely. After a previous drink-pouring incident, the two later erupted into all-out choking, hair-pulling fury in their hotel room. It was a thing of beauty.
Here is the first altercation that set things in motion...
Cartoonish is an understatement this year. Trashy Jessica Rabbits are plentiful this year. Check out photos of all the girls here and here and here's the basics breakdown:
Maria - Odds-on favorite to win...former model
Marcia - Throws up and then makes out with Bret...pours drinks on other girls...chokes a bitch out. Badass.
DJ Tranny Pack (aka Nikki aka DJ Lady Tribe) - "I'm a very spiritual person. I'm deep as well." Maybe the scariest chick I've seen since Angelique last season. This train wreck gets kicked off and won't leave set...has to be carried out. Would've liked to see her stay for another episode just for the cringes. Also rapped for Bret with lyrics written on the back of a piece of paper with instructions for treating Genital Herpes.
Jasmineva - Desperate porn star...serious crazy waiting to explode. Hilariously Bret has an issue with her past sexual exploits. Come on Bret...pot kettle black.
Constandina - Spiritual guru-full-of-shit weird chick that has done too many drugs
Samantha - Too thin, kinda scary, very desperate...leopard print WT
Beverly - Beefy tomboy...likes to start shit with blondes...throws drinks.
Farrah - Definitely a stripper or a dude...best described as "Brooke Hogan 20 years from now."
Kareena (aka Gina) - Shit-started, kicked off...her drama will be missed.
Kelsey - Tells us that some people rely on brains and others on boobs...she knows boobs are her strong suit.
Taya - Former Penthouse Pet prides herself on being the classy one in the bunch...only willing to show her ass at the photoshoot.
Melissa - Won't last long...already screaming to go home...admittedly uses men to advance in the world.
Natasha - Token african-american girl...absolutely loses her shit over the packing of the tour bus. almost comes to blows with DJ Tranny Pack.
Brittanya - Cheek studs...yikes. Not bad though otherwise.
Stephanie - Sent home...pretty vacant. Too nice for this competition anyway.
Heather - A snoozer...sent home.
Marciela - I don't remember her...sent home.
Megan - I don't remember her
Mindy - I don't remember her
Based on what I've seen, this show has simply degraded into a ratings grabber for VH1 and a media exposure booster for Michaels. No way he "finds love" on Season Three. I'll enjoy the chaos while it lasts though. Episode Two journeys to my current hometown...Indianapolis, Indiana! Yay. How did I miss this?!
Kentucky Sucks...
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Labels: rock of love
posted by Dodge @ 1:25 PM
4 Talk back to yo' mama!
4 Talk back to yo' mama!:
Being from Louisville I know exactly where they were.
And I swear to you, they were staying in the trashiest hotel in the entire downtown area and hanging at a total crap night club.
I'll take Kentucky sucks, based off where they were, any day.
Holy crap. This show was out of control last night. It was hard to watch with all of the screaming and yelling. I didn't make it through the whole episode b/c I thought my head was going to explode. I hope it calms down a little bit, but based on the majority of chicks on it who obviously need some serious meds and psychotherapy, Bret is going to have his hands full. Pardon the pun. I am bummed that VH1 had to resort to this, but they also gave former Rock of Lover Megan a show and she is a rotten excuse for a human being...
Being from Kentucky and live in Louisville where this show/tour started and watching these trailer park whores want to bash KY.
They have some nerve to say KY Sucks! The only thing that SUCKS is low life bimbos looking for five minutes of fame and the only way they can get any attention is to put there fake boobs in front of a casting crew to get on some low budget, has been rocker's coat tail.
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