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The 10 Commandments Guidelines of Concert Behavior VI
Yeah, I know I'm a little late with this guideline, but I decided the halfway point was a perfect opportunity to stretch my legs, grab a sandwich and refocus before getting back down to business. During my hiatus, I happened to catch the Black Keys/Black Crowes show at the Minnesota State Fair. I don't even have the energy to get into what a cesspool of humanity, high cholesterol and inbreeding the fair itself is, suffice to say that, I fully expected to witness enough concert faux pas to fill about 10 more stone tablets. But I am pleased (shocked) to report that the bands, and the audience, were outstanding. Faced with an enormous stage, The Black Keys set brought sufficient ruckus that multiple porcine deliveries were reportedly induced in The Miracle of Birth building, and newish Crowes guitarist Luther Dickinson may be one of the most underrated musicians on the planet. And once the inflatable beach balls became passe, the focus of the majority of the crowd was on the music.
If you lost touch with The Black Crowes after their outstanding The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, you might not be aware that they now tread well into jam band territory. Songs mutate, stretch and intermingle and arrangements are abandoned by the wayside, providing audience members with ample opportunity to fire up bongs or slit their wrists. There is also plenty of sound emanating from stage that more genteel audience members might describe as "noise." Still, I never once heard, "Play Hard To Handle!" That was sublime.
Thou Shall Not Request Songs
Sorry folks, the music biz has changed. Gone are the days of Springsteen's bladder-bursting 4-hour shows and The Replacements swapping instruments to bumble through Bad Company covers. Touring is expensive and promoters are cramming more bands on bills in an attempt to sell tickets, which means tighter schedules and shorter sets. 99.9% of bands are working off setlists because time is money. Lighting and effects. Alternate tunings. Sequencers and samples. Even stage banter is meticulously planned out ahead of time to maximize presentation of the product. And speaking of product, don't think the record companies down have an interest in what songs their bands perform live. Bottom line? You can yell your head off, but if it's not already on the setlist, forget it. Which reminds me. If an artist asks an audience what they want to hear, they're just waiting to hear the title of the next tune on their list. You know that, don't you?
What's wrong with letting musicians decide which songs to play? It's their material, let them present it as they wish. Do you toss out requests at the symphony? At a play? At church? What would you rather hear? An inspired version of a song you've never been terribly fond of, or a half-assed version of a favorite? And one more thing, when a musician changes bands, don't expect them to revisit the good ol' days. If you're going to a Wilco show and planning on screaming for Graveyard Shift and Punch Drunk until you're lightheaded, do us all a favor; just stay home and listen to the Uncle Tupelo records.
Now, I'm not suggesting that as an audience member, you can never make requests. There are probably musicians in your own city who know thousands of songs and regularly play to a group of twenty derelicts who are more interested in pulltabs and finding a good divorce lawyer than what the guy with the guitar is doing. Dale Watson knows more songs than should be humanly possible, including everything Merle Haggard ever wrote or recorded. Grab a stack of dollar bills, find a hungry busker and make him or her play all of your favorites. If you ever make it up to the Twin Cities, I would have recommended Nye's Polonaise Room, but it's lost much of its cache since the clowns from Esquire discovered it. Pepper your local college radio station with requests, they'll be thrilled that someone is listening. Point is, there are plenty of people willing to be your personal jukebox. You can just sit at the bar, put bread in their jar, and if you absolutely must, say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"
Note to the guy still yelling for Free Bird at every concert: Stop.
Previous Guidelines:
Number II: Thou Shall Not Fart
Number III: Thou Shall Not Smoke
Number IV: Thou Shall Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Phone
Number V: Thou Shall Show Up On Time
Number III: Thou Shall Not Smoke
Number IV: Thou Shall Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Phone
Number V: Thou Shall Show Up On Time
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posted by Luftmensch @ 9:00 PM
4 Talk back to yo' mama!
4 Talk back to yo' mama!:
While I do agree that there are many obnoxious fans out there who do a lot of annoying things at concerts, I can't fully agree with this commandment. Now if you are going to see a large act like Radiohead, Foo Fighters, Black Crows, etc. then I fully agree with this commandment. On the other hand part of the appeal of indie music is that many shows are at venues that only hold a few hundred people. The settings are intimate and the artists have an ultimate appreciation for their fans. I would not say that your commandment applies in these settings. That is part of what makes indie music great. It comes down to the appreciation for the music and band and I think musicians that are working to make a name for themselves appreciate knowing that there are people out there who know and love their music. All in all, I like your commandment posts and agree with most of them, but this is one that can not be generalized to all concerts.
I agree. One of my favorite concert momments ever is when one of my favorite idie artist asked for requests, and I requested my favorite song. He was surprised and delighted about what I yelled out, singled me out, and sang it on the spot. Turns out he hasn't sang it in 2 years! I have seen him performe about a dozen times, and that was the only time he played it.
But as for Freebird. That guy needs to get over it!
I'm an evolved Freebirder. I don't request it at rock concerts, just at places not normally expected: baseball games, Broadway shows, while running a marathon. That way I get my fix and avoid breaking this commandment.
And maybe if every band would open up with "Freebird", maybe people would stop requesting it.
Thanks for writing this. I play music full time, and have had many heartaches as well as very funny moments at shows because of what i refer to as "hecklers". People who not only request their favorite song, but insist on standing at the front of the stage and screaming it at the band until they become angry. I used to always try to explain to the audience member that i am not physically capable of singing a song that i do not know they lyrics tune or melody to, but even that did not help. So what i did was begin to treat these people like hecklers at a stand up comic show, and now i keep a bag of punch-lines on hand to yell back at said person, which usually is funny and keeps the audience on my side. My personal fav is "I thought i told you stay in the truck?".
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